The Continuing Saga of Wednesday

21 May

Just had a conversation with Jim.

Jim: “Don’t listen to him. He always says shit like that to me.”

Me: “How do you let it not get to you?”

Jim: “Because I know I’m not [cold or whatever he calls him]. I’m just trying to do my work.”

So, I guess what I ultimately need is faith in myself. It should not take one simple comment to tear me down like that.

The question is, did I ever have faith in myself? I could blame the whole bullshit chad situation which put my self confidence self worth self assurance whole self in a knot.

The fact that I could hurt another person that badly (though Marla and Keith tell me that he hurt me that badly for longer than I realized) and the fact that I was taking the reigns in my life for once and making a decision threw me for a loop. First my friends were on my side, then they weren’t, and there was no way to express how they felt and there was no way to express how I felt. 

Time has healed the wounds with my friends but I guess that my “self” is still trying to find faith. 

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2 Responses to “The Continuing Saga of Wednesday”

  1. citysidewalk May 21, 2008 at 9:02 pm #

    Its physically impossible for you to be cold.
    Even when you are in antarctic surrounded by fuzzy baby penguins.

  2. marla May 22, 2008 at 7:12 am #

    I second that emotion.

    Not yours, Jess’ca’s.

    Suck it up. You’re awesome. If you need me to tell you, call me.

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