Go Ahead, Make My Day

9 Nov

My dad and I are watching really loud Dirty Harry movies on TV. I am amazingly enchanted by Clint Eastwood. I think he’s hot. And funny.

Today was pretty long. It was the Palmyra craft show. The day began at 4:30 this morning driving up here, unpacking shit, sitting and selling things, seeing Chad and Krista walk by (which was surprising, but it turns out his mom started making jewelry and did her first booth this year). Slightly awkward, but okay. His mom actually waved at me and she looked really amazing, so I’m glad for her. Hopefully, her hatred of me has softened. It was a strange reaction I had, seeing her. I felt SO guilty. I don’t feel anything about Chad anymore, but seeing his grandma, I just felt like I should be ashamed of myself. Whorish. Whorish for leading my own life right and making wise decisions? For taking control of the first time.

My sister told me that the only reason they were mad at me is because they had grown to love me and felt hurt that they would never see me again. This made me realize things from their perspective and I feel fine about it now.

I just wanted to note that, because it wasn’t something I was expecting.

We watched this lady fold sweatshirts about a hundred times across from us. Every time someone would pick one up, she would re-fold it. I also saw some of the worst hairstyles I’ve seen in some time. This one lady had spiky cornrows. I couldn’t believe it.

It was strange today being there without my grandma – it was our first craft show without her. It was hard on mom and mom is still really scared that she may have cancer (with the whole thyroid thing). She’s a bundle of nerves, so I’m trying to tread lightly. I accidently said that this room upstairs was messy and then she immediately went up there and cleaned for almost two hours. I felt convicted – I shouldn’t have said anything. So, I apoligized and she told me how overwhelming things were right now. That’s understandable. So I’m trying to be kinder about this and not so tough on her.

Moms are really important. I told mom that I was sorry that she didn’t have that person to call to make things all better. Sometimes I just want to call my mom when I’m sick so she can be like, “Everything’s going to be just fine.” That alone raises my immunity more than anything. So, please tell your mothers you love them after you read this.

025 Grandma, in 2007.

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4 Responses to “Go Ahead, Make My Day”

  1. Jen Wellenkamp November 9, 2008 at 12:10 pm #

    Your Grandma is so cute! She looks so proud in this picture.

  2. braincandle November 9, 2008 at 12:18 pm #

    Ha! I was watching those movies on AMC earlier… I would tell my Mom I love her right now but it’s too late at night.

  3. Meagan November 10, 2008 at 5:31 am #

    Well you had me bawling today. That picture makes Moose look so sassy! It was good hanging out with you on Saturday 🙂

  4. JESS November 10, 2008 at 11:36 pm #

    Fairs/Shows/Carnivals etc.. are amazing- because they bring all sorts of different people together- I LOVE them. And I am super jealous I didn’t see the lady with spiky cornrows! Give mom a big hug for me! I hope she is okay.

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