Oh How Things Change

8 Jan

I just got an email from a friend who I used to work with. We’ve not been able to talk as much lately since we don’t work together. She’s one of the gals that took me to Memphis for a bachelorette at the end of September. She’s very fun-loving and I love her spirit. We’ve exchanged a couple phone calls and a few texts since Memphis.  

However, today I received an email that made me feel like crap. Basically, she sent me a one-line email that said, “I was cleaning out my inbox and I found an e-card that you sent me when I left. Oh how things change.” I sent her a reply back that said, “I know – I can’t believe it’s been so long since you left in June.” She replied with “No, that’s not exactly what I meant. I was talking about how I’ve only seen you once since Memphis and that was at your wedding.”

I don’t feel like this is the most mature way to deal with something like this, so I wasn’t sure with how to respond back. I emailed back, “Can I call you tonight so we can talk?” I really didn’t want to talk about stuff like this at work because it’s difficult for me. I’m completely distracted right now. Who can think about regulations when a friendship crisis is going on. She just responded “I work until 7 and I’m going out afterwards.”

Well, fine, be that way. Obviously she somehow wants to make it as difficult as possible to talk to me.

And what am I going to say? I could say that yes, I really I’m a really freaking horrible friend. I am. I fully realize it. I’ve lost a lot of friends in the past because of the way that I am. The way I am, I don’t have to go out every night with someone to still be their friend. I can go for a couple weeks and still be okay. Sometimes life gets in the freaking way. I’m sorry that I’ve had bronchitis, then a mouth infection, then a bacterial infection that has taken me away from much socially for over two months, then I keep pooping worms, and now I have a yeast infection. And my mom has cancer. I feel crazy simply because of that (and so does my sister). And somehow, literally still, even though I’m feeling better, I keep falling asleep at 8 pm. I mean to call people, I really do. I want to. I get home at 5:30, cook supper, clean the dishes, eat, and by then, I’m too exhausted to even clean my house. My house has been a disaster for months. I am too embarrassed to even have people over. I want to be proud of my home before I have people over. I’m embarrassed by the way I am. How I can’t seem to get everything done. I feel like a horrible wife, daughter, and friend.

Is that what you wanted?


4 Responses to “Oh How Things Change”

  1. citysidewalk January 8, 2009 at 10:35 am #

    YOU ARE NOT A HORRIBLE FRIEND! I know this girl-I want to poke her belly button!!!!!!!! Its hard for some people- who’s life is a little easier to judge- because they feel they are being hurt. I’m a busy bee too and it totally upsets people- but I just take a deep breath and remind myself- Hey sister- the phone/e-mail works BOTH WAYS. And if she really wanted to see you badly enough- she would have called you and asked if you were home to get her own ass over to see you! Thats how it works. I can not see someone for months and even YEARS (ask Ashley) and still love them with all my heart. Which means its possible and if you even still have the tiniest bit of pain in your heart- I will poke that out too- because you are one of the sweetest most caring wonderful people I know. And I will Ill-Karate kick anyone’s ass who thinks differently. Do you think wordpress censors? I said ass like twice…hmm lets see…. SHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTT.
    Love You Moo.

  2. jenthesweetbuns January 8, 2009 at 12:10 pm #

    Listen Molly, you shouldn’t worry about issues like that. Some people are just a little more attention-needy I guess. I don’t really know the girl, but maybe she’s lonely and taking her frustrations out on you.

    Always remember: YOU ARE AN AMAZING FRIEND. I wouldn’t have written that to your Mother, who I only met once, in the get well card.

    Your life have gone through a huge transformation in the past couple years. You graduated college, got a “big girl” job. left Chad, started dating Jim, got engaged, got promoted, planned a wedding, went to a shit-load of weddings, got married, got sick, and helping your Momma get better. OF COURSE YOU’RE TIRED! My hands are tired from typing that.

    Take this time for your body to catch up. I’ll always be here.

  3. marla January 8, 2009 at 10:46 pm #


    I second Jess and Jennifer.

  4. songspirit January 9, 2009 at 3:48 pm #

    Hi. I’m just new here, but I felt moved to comment on your situation. Obviously I don’t know you, or the person you speak of, but I feel you are being quite harsh with yourself. Where was she with her support when you have been going through all your stuff recently? Besides, workship based friendships tend not to last that long, because once the common connection of the job has gone, there isn’t a lot left to keep the friendship going. Don’t feel bad about it, and DON’T feel guilty. She has had as much chance to drop you an email or a phonecall as anyone. You seem like a nice person. Its her loss. 🙂

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