Booty on the Bigscreen

23 Jul

As you know, I had an endoscopy and colonoscopy on Monday.

Let me just tell you, if any of you ever have to have this done, it’s really nothing to be nervous about. It was really a piece of cake and I have the Endoscopy Center to thank for that.

I was to arrive at 6:45 in the  morning. Well, that didn’t happen – Jim wanted to go to work early, so he was dropping me off. It took him awhile to get ready and there was an accident on 270. Of course. I didn’t get there until almost 7. Luckily, I had called the office and they said it was just fine that we were going to be a little late – that they’d get me in there. I arrived and met my mom and sister there. They’d driven the two hours to get there to be with me. My mom said she woke up at 3:30.

I checked in and they called me back. First I got into my gown and they had a warm blanket ready to cover me in. I thought that was a great touch. They asked me a bunch of health questions, to which most of my answers were “no.” I was a bit of a chatty Kathy too, though, because I was nervous. I asked the nurse if she knew anything about the anesthesia. She told me that she’d had this procedure not too long ago and that they put anti-nausea meds in the anesthesia and as long as I hadn’t eaten, that I’d be fine. This put me at so much ease. They put my IV in my hand, which didn’t really hurt at all and then I was about ready.

The anesthesiologist came back to talk to me and he wheeled me into the procedure room. He was really nice and kept asking me about my job. Everyone I spoke with asked me, “who’s driving you home?” “who’s got the keys?” I got tired of telling them my mom and sister had me covered!

The procedure room was really cool. There was this huge TV behind my bed. There was a circle in the center of the screen and there was a towel where the camera was and you could see the magnified towel fibers. I commented on that and the anesthesiologist laughed and said that’s probably about what my insides would look like, but that he escapes the room before they can do any of that stuff. I just sort of watched everyone around me. They put oxygen on me. One nurse re-applied her lip gloss. The doctor came to talk to me and give me the “1 in a 1000” risk speech. I nodded. They made me turn on my left side. They put a towel under my head. They put a mouthguard in my mouth. About at this point, I realized that this was it.

A tear rolled down my face and the nurse at my head stroked my hair and talked to me while the anesthesiologist told me that I was about to feel sleepy.

The next thing I remember, my mom and my sister are standing over my bed in the recovery room. They said I was repeating myself over and over. I was overjoyed – my butt didn’t hurt. My throat wasn’t sort or dry. The only thing I felt was bloated. They have to blow air through you to make things puff up so they can see better. The nurse told me that I could let it out all I wanted – that it was “clean air.” I thought it was funny that I had permission to fart. Thank goodness because I couldn’t have held it in. I couldn’t believe that I didn’t feel bad. I told my mom that she should probably do this immediately because it was a piece of cake!

They gave me apple juice and had me get dressed. I didn’t feel woozy at all, just really happy. The doctor came by and told me that from first glance, everything looked normal, but they did take some biopsies of my esophagus, stomach, and colon. They said that the biopsy of my stomach was already ready and that I didn’t have the bacteria that caused ulcers (yay). The rest of my results would be back later on this week. Probably Friday.

They told me that I was ready to go and before I knew it, I was back home. I think it was around 9. My sister and mom hung out with me and cleaned my kitchen and bathrooms while I rested. They totally didn’t have to do that, but they’re used to running around not sitting still. They also helped to get some groceries for our lunch. I just really enjoyed spending time with them and being relieved that my body is almost assuredly normal. I just have to figure out what I’m putting in my body that affects it – and I’m thinking it’s my BC. But I’ll wait before the biopsy results before I go down that road.

All in all, I’m really thankful that I was tested and that everything is okay. Thank you for all the well wishes! I’m so lucky.

I will note that the prep for this test was for the birds. On my paperwork, it said I had to take four laxatives and 64 more ounces of laxative. Yeah, I took about 35 oz with the four pills and I was about to throw up. I felt like a big oxymoron gulping Gatorade laxative while sitting on the toilet at the same time. Luckily, I called the after-hours line and the doctor on call told me that I was actually done with the laxative process since my bm’s were clear liquid. He was super nice, but the paperwork was insistent that people do all 64! I wouldn’t have made it. I’d probably still be on the toilet. So, take note of that as well. I can’t describe my sense of relief when he told me I was done. I still, however, probably had to make at least 10 trips to the bathroom more that night… yikes.

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2 Responses to “Booty on the Bigscreen”

  1. Sweet Buns July 25, 2009 at 8:18 am #

    I hoped my medicine Buddha helped you out!

  2. JESS August 8, 2009 at 8:29 am #

    IM glad it went OKAY! I love you!

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