Previous Blog Format and Other Notes

27 Sep

It’s been awhile since I’ve wrote here – I’m not sure why I’ve been in a biographical dry spell. I decided to switch blog formats for some new perspective. This one is a little less minimalist than my last one.

Peg is sleeping to my left and Jim is working in our home office, doing “work” on a Sunday night. We were watching The Office baby Halpert delivery episode, but it’s on pause at the moment. I spent most of the day today lining shelves and cussing aptly every time that I screwed up – which was often. In a means to alleviate stress, I only lined the high-traffic shelves and said fuck it to the rest. I’ll just be very clean with them… for the rest of my life, as long as I never have to line shelves again.

Everywhere I turn, I seem to hear about the mortality of life; it’s something that seems to be hitting me in the face always. People getting debiliating diseases, old people getting older and frailer, tumors, cancer, Mayo clinic, swallowing toothpicks. And it all equals heartbreak and confusion. It gets people so confused about their priorities in life. I’m to a point now at work that I feel that it comes almost before all things… it stresses me out to the point of where I’m not the same person when I’m home on the weekdays as when I’m home on the weekends. The weekends I’m much more relaxed but I have no idea what is going on – like where am I at home, as a friend, as a family member. I have no idea sometimes. I know how to effectively communicate at work; I’m not sure I know how to effectively communicate outside the office.

How weird is that?

Oh, and I’m a writer… seriously I can write a good conversation, but it takes a lot of energy for me to have one.

I think I’m just really really afraid of rejection.

It keeps me from doing a lot in my life.


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