Dr. Cupid and Mrs. Valentine

15 Feb

For me, Valentine’s is a very confusing holiday. I literally have a headache because I’ve been trying to work out my feelings for Valentine’s in my mind. What’s wrong with this picture?

I dislike Valentines Day because…

Not everyone gets a Valentine on V. Day. I’ve always been taught that I am no better than anyone else, and to treat everyone equally. By principle, reveling in my roses seems almost selfish, show-offy. Look at me, lonely people, I got roses. And you have… a cold bed. As the friend of single friends, I do not want them to feel that way. I am no better than these lovable people who have not yet found their loves.

I might be cursed. Probably the priciest gift I ever received on V. Day was from my first boyfriend. He drove 12 hours to see me, gave me 12 roses, and a huge diamond necklace. My 14-year-old heart be damned, I had fallen out of love with him since I’d last seen him (3-4 months previous). I had to break up with him – but he made me keep the periphinalia. I pawned it last year, because it has been 10 years since that happened.

That brings me to my third point – it feels forced. Diamond necklaces are easy for men to choose (though admittedly not easy on their wallet). I value what makes their brain hurt. I value creativity and feelings. I think that the best Valentine’s day gifts are from the heart. The truely best gift I’ve ever received (Valentine’s or otherwise)? A song that Jim wrote for me about me. That took him pulling all those feelings from the castle walls inside himself and giving them words, giving them music. To me, that is sexier than any piece of cookie-cutter jewelry that supposedly claims “I AM LOVED.” That song made me feel loved.

It’s a Catch-22 for my husband. I want roses because I want to feel special, but I don’t want roses just because its Valentines day. I want roses just because he loves me. Not because he feels forced. However, he feels forced because he sees me getting irritated when ladies have two dozens of roses flowing through our office doors.

I like Valentine’s Day because…

I like being reminded of the love in our life. It’s easy to forget, and to get busy, and to robotically spout the words, “I love you” as soon as they are spoken to you.

It’s nice to stop, listen, and say, hey, I am really glad you are in my life. I want you to be there always because I love you.

I feel its nice as well to include friends on Valentines – because they are your relationship therapists through finding your love. They are the ones you lean on throughout your life. I hope I always have the shoulder of my husband, and the shoulder of my friends.

And, gentlemen, there’s nothing better than displaying your roses on your desk. And there I go showboating, but it’s true. They really help the ladies get through the workday… until they get to see you in the evenings.

This is why my brain hurts – I’m like Dr. Cupid and Mrs. Valentine.

I should be thinking of my feelings for my loved ones on this day, instead of the stigma attached to the day itself.


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